This Week I Am Mostly Talking Myself Out Of:

Liking him. M. What a complicated situation that would be to get involved in – not the me being pregnant and an already single mum to a toddler situation. THAT part is simple!!

The complicated bit arises from the fact that he has been separated from his wife but still living with her and his 16 month old daughter since April? May time? And the fact that I have known him for years and actually know his wife?

No no no. I need simple stability, not complicated chaos. I think I am right in continuing the line of thinking that me liking him is because he is a good guy, a good friend and I am bloody hormonal!!

L has made it her mission to get us together – despite the fact that if he fancies anybody since his split from his wife – it definately isn’t me – it’s her!

No I am right. I’m always right (I just change my mind a few times along the way). He is not right for me. Now is not the right time to be getting involved with another guy and nor will any time in the forseeable future be the right time.

It is definately hormones and he must never find out!!!

A Little Adult Communication Wouldn’t Go Amiss…

I have really gone and done it now! I didn’t even say anything – just the swift click of remove from friends did all the talking for me. That and L, my best friend and the only person who is truly there for me.

So HMS Liverpool returned on Friday for a fleeting reunion with Portsmouth Dockyard before returning to sea trials at 8am Monday morning, thus meaning that SD2 was no more than a simple phonecall, email or (god forbid) a short trip across the harbour to Gosport away. Did he phone, email or turn up to see how things are with his daughter? Nope. Instead he posted on his facebook that he is “enjoying dropping of the radar”!

Dropping off the radar? Dropping off the planet is a much preferable option you selfish arrogant bastard! Then the following day he posted with **** has really needed this weekend for the break! One spent getting pissed up no doubt! He also told a friend on his page that he hasn’t been hiding – just overstressed at work.

My lovely lovely friend stepped in at this point and pointed out in rich text format for all of his facebook buddies to see – that she is amazed that his parents can show their support for me all the way from South Africa, yet he cant pop across the harbour! He hasn’t seen it yet and I doubt he will do by the time he returns to his facebook and getting pissed duties this weekend.

Anyway L and I have been discussing that perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea that I keep him as a friend on facebook as all his statuses do is piss me off – 5 August is the last time we spoke properly – he doesn’t even know that I have picked lg’s name without his input. Well he couldn’t be bothered to be involved despite me trying so sod him.

He has been deleted from facebook – wait until he returns this weekend and see what he makes of that. Obviously I wont know unless he calls. I doubt he will though.

Why Should It Bother You?

I actually managed to speak to my mum on messenger today! This is no mean feat since she seems to have turned rather uncontactable and always appears online but “busy” and never seems to answer her phone.

I told her brother dearest is moving into our older brother’s house after only a month of living with me – since she moved to Guernsey to be with her man, leaving a sixteen year old in the care of me (heavily pregnant with a toddler nd living in a two bedroom flat-meaning I had to give up my bedroom and take to the sofa) and an eighteen year old to move out of home and live in the real world.

She asked why he is moving and I told her that they decided it would be easier all round nd she copped! Not being funny but my older brother actually has a SPARE room which is bigger and it would also mean I haven’t gotta worry about claiming more money to give to him AND I actually get to have my own bedroom and a bed again.

She’s the one who has buggered off to live her new life and do up her new house and live in perfect bliss with her new husband to be. I never wanted him living with me but what was I supposed to do? Have him living on the streets because there was no way in hell he was going to Guernsey! She didn’t even plan it properly – just decided to move and in the run up to her actual moving her hurtful comments when things didn’t go her way – “I can’t wait to leave all this behind” – in reference to her letting all things discipline like slide and my brothers not doing  god damn thing to help and coming and going as they pleased. All she wanted to do was get out of England so she could spend all her time on a crappy island being at the beck and call of a man!

I’m thrilled he is moving because he never cleans to my standards – always leaves lights on – doesn’t follow my ground rules that I set down before he moved in – gobs off at me because i’m nagging (had to ask him to do something for the umpteenth time) and I might actually get a decent night’s rest as opposed to sleeping on the sofa which is doing my back no end of good!

I told her when I couldn’t find a three bedroom place tht he couldn’t come to me but when I viewed this place she was telling him about all that would fit in the room. MY room!

I would like her to come and stay with me for a couple of weeks around the birth of lg but she is getting a flight out when I go into labour! Why cant she come and stay with me without having to run it past his royal highness first? Why does he have to follow on in the car as soon as he can get away from work and her then have to return home with him?

Okay so yes I am an adult and have lived in the real world for some time (despite them thinking I am a drama queen and dont know what the real world is like) but I hate him so much because he took her away. I want to spend some time with my mum without having some puppy follow her about – is that so much to ask?

What Did I Learn??

What did I learn today? If I must take little boy (lb) to help me in completing my course in bad parenting via the lovely junky goodness of MacDonalds – it is probably a better idea to pursue this idea at teatime as opposed to lunchtime.

Especially if he is walking and made to do so right through town to pit stop at Boots to drop a prescription in and then to Macdonalds nd onto the bus station – only to be made to walk back to Boots to collect the prescription.

The poor little mite fell asleep standing/flopped over the setee at five pm when we finally got back home and woke at bedtime… I have learned this leads to a hyperactive 21 month old bouncing up and down on the setee at 00:45.

Here’s hoping he lies in… but that would mean skipping breakfast… hmmm might have this bad parenting down to a tee before the week is out!